One Hard Day

6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Sex.
6:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today.
7:00 Breakfast, filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Stoli bloody Mary en route to airport.
8:15 Private jet to Augusta, GA.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Front nine at Augusta (2 under).
11:45 Lunch 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens.
12:15 Sex.
12:30 Back nine at Augusta (4 under).
14:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay Martini).
14:30 Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap).
15:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless) crew.
16:30 Land World record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs).
17:00 Jet back and get massage & hand job en route by naked Kathy
Ireland.
18:45 Shit, shower and shave.
19:00 Watch CNN news flash: Clinton resigns – Hillary and Al
Gore farm animal video released and authenticated.
19:30 Dinner, lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1963) 20 oz. New York
steak
21:00 Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar.
21:30 Sex with three women.
23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.
23:45 Bed (alone).
23:50 12 second, 4 octave fart — dog leaves room.
23:55 Giggle yourself to sleep.